1. |
Insouciance
03:47
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2. |
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i used to think i was intelligent and life would be easy and predictably along the way i learned how different things would be
medication and indoor recess with children "just like me"
getting picked last in sports
assigned to group work and losing in spelling bees
between medication and fear of failure i said its better to not compete
two decades zooted off college kid's pills i recognize crumbling dreams
out in the back by the lake trees and grass the first time i smoked weed i showed up high to class feeling normal at last till i bombed 40 tests and my dad kicked my ass i dropped out of high school to learn shit that's cooler than sucking dick of people better than you or me
shotgunning beers quickly after life filled with friends laughter and minimum wage for busting my ass and failing my midterms and skipping my classes applying for jobs i will never hear back from and now i can't sleep unless i've had 6 drinks
it hurts to be, what`s worse, im free, i cant sleep, unless ive had 6 drinks,
whats worse, all this shit`s on me
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3. |
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i'm a cliche
the girl in my dreams just left yesterday
and i'm in denial
she didn't see me, she saw the mask she placed over
but through the cracks could see, i'm not who she wanted me to be
spent the last 3 hours clenching my teeth
but if she called, i would answer
cause maybe i love the sting
and today i wrote a book, about my emotions
the pages were blank, but at the end i jotted down, the last thing i said
i miss you
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4. |
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let's pretend we're strong
pretend we get along
just like those good old days
we've played this game for so long
i don't think we know, anything else
and i'm an optimist, in everything but myself
i try not to dwell on my past
cause i haven't changed my shirt, in eight days
and been wearing the same shoes, since tenth grade
and i'm not quite sure, where we go from here
maybe just end it all?
sounds better than this fucking wall.
while the world stares, but nobody cares at all
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5. |
New Weed
01:47
|
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|
i can't let go
i still dream about you when I can sleep
these days I'm very tired
i can't go home
Clear to me now that I should not exist
please show me how to live like this
waterfalls and sharing socks
skipping river rocks from under docks
every smile a stolen moment
here with you now, happy, for the moment
when will i see you again?
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6. |
Quitting Smoking in 1962
02:01
|
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|
what could be worse, than life going it's course?
could this get any harder, could i hate myself more?
i don't ask questions, for fear of the answer
but in this hour, i'm cathartic not sour
and as we stand, shoulder to shoulder
sweat mixed i feel, powerful
for once in my life
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7. |
Shawty
01:48
|
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|
how could you just walk away from everything we had?
|
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8. |
Beach Day
03:35
|
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|
never asked to be the center of attention
hold your camera till i die
you're the one they came to see, i'm nearby
the times i try, are when i crash the hardest
and i wish i had a jacket, with all my flaws written on it
so you could point and laugh
not that you do much different but
maybe i'd be ok, if i knew what was wrong with me
read my tombstone, it says i'm home
and goodbye, thanks for those fun nights
will you remember me? never
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9. |
Shit My Dad Says
02:25
|
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|
something's wrong
i've been imagining for far too long
that I am unhappy because I am sick
or weak
fact is I'm scared to lose a fair fight
i choose to self defeat
can't fall asleep most nights
so I'm tired every day
get so drunk that I can't talk
stay in bed
through the weekend
in the end I'm meaningless
i'm so fucking scared to die
i choose to self defeat
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